Have a question? Write to MKIA: dealingwithdivas@gmail.com

Dear Miss Know It All,
Your special skill seems to be answering questions about working with difficult people, also known as divas. But can you address those divas in our lives who are not our bosses or peers? I have a mother-in- law that drives me crazy! Any advice?
It’s All Relative

Dear Relative,

Where to start?! Yes, divas and divos are in all parts of our life, not just at work. If you’ve read my book then you know about the LARK method. The LARK works with relatives too but sometimes we give them too much power and, therefore, we stress more than we need to about approaching them when we have issues. L = Listen. When your mother-in-law speaks, is everything she says negative or are you the one with the negative self-talk? A = Ask for what you want. If she is dropping in unannounced, tell her that you would like a call first. Also, ask your partner for backup! R = Relax. Take a deep breath and count to ten if even just her name causes your blood to boil. K = Kick the habit of thinking about her constantly as a problem. Give her the benefit of the doubt and just keep smiling when- ever she is around. That will keep her guessing!

As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.”

MKIA