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Dear Miss Know It All,

I was asked by my boss to help oversee and plan a very large charity event that he is hosting, and which I am actually really looking forward to seeing to fruition. I’ve been working on the event (handling the silent auction entries, sending out the invitations and firming up the guest list) for months now. Recently he (said boss) added two more people to the team who have done events like this in the past to work with me on this final stretch.

Suddenly I am being treated by these people like an idiot. Since they have a lot of experience doing these types of things and I don’t, they feel they can belittle me and basically have made me feel like I shouldn’t have even been involved in this in the first place. I’m at my wits end. Any advice?

Three’s A Crowd When I’m In It

Dear Three,

It’s always amazing to me that people treat others with disrespect. It sounds like you’ve already done the majority of the work. The reality is that YOU have been the glue that has probably kept this all together. You mustn’t let yourself be beaten up by…YOU. All you can ever control is your own actions. The actions of others can sometimes be hurtful, definitely, but unless they are totally undermining you, I suggest you keep your head down and get your job done. If you feel it’s impossible to do this, then it’s time to have a talk with your boss. Tell him your concerns. My guess is that he trusted you 100% which is why he asked you to put the event on in the first place. Perhaps these added people are friends of his that just wanted to pitch in. He may have no clue that you are struggling. Communication here is the key. Talk to him and tell him your concerns. Generally, I have found that telling the boss what is going on usually works in your favor (I know — not always, but most times it does). Go for it. You deserve to be heard! And wishing you success with the charity.

MKIA